A letter to me

Dear me

As I start writing this letter many thoughts are running through my head about who I really am and why is it that I tend to be so hard on myself sometimes. I consider myself to be a very intelligent, genuine, and a nice young woman but sometimes I second guess my intelligence and that's when things go wrong. Deep down I know I am a very smart girl but I always get nervous and think that I am going to do a horrible job at everything that I do and more than half of the time it turns out that way because I just let my insecurities get the best of me. For example, when going to a job interview that I know I have the qualities and the experience that they are looking for I start thinking negative and start getting nervous and that's why I do so bad in interviews and that's why I feel like I should take it easy and be more secure of myself and know that I have whatever it takes to make it where ever I want. One thing that I hate about myself is that I am a very nice and friendly person and people tend to take advantage of me because of it. I am always the girl that you can come to and ask for any favors because I would not tell you no if I know that I am able to help you and since every one knows that many people in my life has taken advantage of my kindness. I have learned that I shouldn't trust no one and that I should look out for myself first no matter what. Many of my problems have been because I trust the wrong people but not any more, I will no longer trust any one and I will look out for my self before anyone else. There's a cruel world out there and very bad people that want to bring you down and you shouldn't let them. Another advice I give myself is to be a stronger person when it comes to emotional stuff. I always let my emotions get the best of me and end up hurting other people that I care about at times because I don't know how to control my feelings specially when I'm angry or sad. I am a very hard headed person and what I say that's what it is and I never want to look out side the box and listen to other suggestions because I always feel like my opinion and how I think is the correct way all the time and I know should start listening to others and be more open about things. Another thing that I hate about myself is that I let any little thing stress me out and make my day a living hell. When I do bad on a test, at work, an interview or even when something didn't come out the way I planned I get stressed out and act like the world is going to end instead of me facing the consequences and just telling myself that I am going to do better the next time and take it like a strong person. Finally, I think I have a lot of things on my mind that I don't let go and that's just hurting the person that I am and making me not be in peace with myself. One of the main things I feel like I should say good bye to is the thought and the memories I have of my mom's departure. I think that if I keep reminding myself of that day when my mom ran out and left us alone that I will never be completely happy and at peace with myself and most importantly I wouldn't help my siblings get over it either and be happy once and for all. With all of this said the best advice I can give myself is to be a strong person and to be the best that I can be and most importantly not the be so hard on my self and try not to let my emotions get the best of me.

P.S. Leave the past in the past because if you keep it in the present you would never be good with your self and you will not find true happiness.